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Preparing Your Daughter for High School: A Brisbane Parent's Guide to the Grade 7 Transition
- Alaina Hourigan
- Jan 6
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 8
If your daughter is going into Grade 7, you’ve probably noticed some mood swings, friendship worries, or nerves about what’s next. High school can feel huge—new campus, new teachers, hundreds of students, new schedule and subjects and even catching the bus. It can all feel very overwhelming!
As a parent, you know that transitioning from primary to high school is one of the biggest changes our daughters will face in her formative years. It can be a lot for a 11-12 year old to navigate.
But here's what I've learned after working as a youth mentor: the girls who thrive in high school aren't necessarily the smartest or most popular. They're the ones who've developed the inner confidence and practical skills to handle whatever comes their way.
So how do you help your daughter prepare for this massive transition? Let's talk about what actually makes a difference.
What girls worry about most
When I ask Grade 6 girls what they're worried about regarding high school, here's what comes up again and again:
"What if I don't make friends?"
This is the number one concern. She's worried about losing her current friends, not fitting in with new groups, being excluded or eating lunch alone.
"What if I get lost?"
The physical size of high school campuses can be genuinely overwhelming. Multiple buildings, different rooms for every subject, finding your class room on time—it feels like a big ask.
"What if the work is too hard?"
She's heard stories about homework overload, strict teachers, and failing tests. Academic pressure suddenly feels very real.
"What if girls are mean to me?"
The idea of being picked one, excluded or feeling different can be intimidating, even though most high schools have strong anti-bullying cultures now, no school is untouched by mean kids and bullying.
Here's the thing: you can't eliminate these worries entirely. But you can give your daughter the tools to handle them with confidence and resilience.
The skills that matter
Beyond the orientation day checklist
Most Brisbane high schools offer transition programs—orientation days, buddy systems, campus tours. These are great! But they only address the practical, surface-level concerns.
What really determines whether your daughter thrives in high school are the internal skills she develops before she gets there:
1. Self-awareness and emotional regulation
Can she identify when she's feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or excluded? Does she have strategies to calm herself down and problem-solve when big feelings arise?
High school brings bigger emotions. Girls who can name what they're feeling and have healthy coping strategies (rather than bottling it up or spiraling) navigate challenges so much better.
2. Communication and self-advocacy
Can she speak up when she needs help? Can she approach a teacher to ask a question? Can she tell a friend how she's feeling?
In primary school, teachers often notice when a student is struggling. In high school, with 150+ students per teacher, your daughter needs to be able to advocate for herself.
3. Friendship skills and boundaries
Does she know what healthy friendships look like? Can she navigate conflicts without it ending in drama? Can she set boundaries when someone's being unkind?
Friendship dynamics shift dramatically in high school. Girls who understand that friendships evolve, that conflict is normal, and that they don't need to be friends with everyone—they handle the social landscape so much better.
4. Resilience and growth mindset
Can she bounce back from disappointments? Does she see challenges as opportunities to learn, or as proof that she's "not good enough"?
High school will throw challenges at her—a bad test result, not making the netball team, a friendship falling apart. Girls with resilience don't crumble; they adapt.
5. Identity and self-esteem
Does she have a sense of who she is beyond her friendships and achievements? Does she like herself? This is foundational. Girls who feel good about who they are—quirks and all—are so much less vulnerable to peer pressure, comparison, and self-doubt.
How to prepare her
What you can do at home, starting now
✅ Start the conversation early (but keep it light).
Don't wait until the day before to talk about how she's feeling. Start weaving it into casual conversations now:
"I wonder what electives you'll have first?" or "What are you most excited about for high school?"
Normalise it as the next chapter, not some scary unknown.
✅ Talk about what changes—and what stays the same
Yes, there will be more homework and different teachers. But she'll still have lunch with friends or new classmates and she can see her primary school friends on weekends. Ground her in what stays constant.
✅ Practice practical skills
Help her get comfortable with:
Using a combination lock (surprisingly tricky!)
Managing her own school bag and belongings
Write down what she needs to do that week
Keeping track of multiple subjects and due dates
Catching public transport if she'll need to
✅ Ask questions to get her thinking
"What would you do if you can't find your classroom?"
"What would you say if someone invites you to do something that doesn't feel right?"
Who are you going to sit with at lunch in the first week?
"How could you make a new friend at lunch?"
Let her practice responses out loud. It builds confidence.
✅ Focus on friendship quality, not quantity
Reassure her that she doesn't need 20 best friends.
One or two solid friendships matter more than being popular.
Be inclusive and notice if someone doesn't have anyone to sit with. You never know if they could be a new friend!
✅ Validate her feelings without amplifying them
If she says, "I'm worried about high school," don't say, "Oh, you'll be fine!" (That dismisses her feelings.)
Instead try: "It makes sense to feel nervous about something new. What part worries you most? Let's talk about that."
✅ Connect her with someone who's been through it
Does she have an older cousin, family friend, or neighbour in Year 8 or 9? Ask them to share what high school is really like. Hearing from someone just a few years older is so reassuring.
Red flags to watch out for
When to seek extra support
For most girls, the transition jitters are normal and manageable. But keep an eye out for signs that your daughter might need additional support:
Persistent anxiety that interferes with sleep, eating, or daily activities
Withdrawal from friends and activities she used to enjoy
Physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches) with no medical cause
Talking about not wanting to go to high school or extreme catastrophising
Significant changes in mood or behaviour
If you're seeing these signs, reach out. Talk to her head of house teacher first or your GP or counsellor. You could also look at getting her a youth mentor so she's got a trusted adult to talk to about this stuff who isn't otherwise apart of her life.
Why workshops work
Building skills in a supportive group setting
One of the most powerful ways to prepare your daughter for high school is through a structured workshop where she can build these skills alongside other girls going through the same transition.
When girls practice communication, problem-solving, and self-awareness with peers, something magical happens: they realise they're not alone. Everyone's nervous. Everyone's worried about friendships. Everyone's figuring it out.
In our high school readiness workshops here in Brisbane, we create a safe space for girls going into grade 7 to:
Name their fears and realise they're not "being silly"
Practice real-life scenarios they'll face in high school
Develop emotional regulation strategies they can actually use
Build confidence in their ability to handle challenges
Connect with other girls going through the same transition
Talk to high school girls in grade 9 and 10 about their experience!
The gift of readiness
What you're really giving her
Preparing your daughter for high school isn't about eliminating all challenges. It's about giving her the inner tools to face those challenges with confidence.
When she walks through those high school gates on Day 1, she won't know where all her classrooms are. She might feel nervous in the lunch line. She might miss her primary school friends.
But if she knows how to manage her feelings, advocate for herself, navigate friendships, and bounce back from setbacks? She'll be okay. More than okay—she'll thrive.
The transition to high school is a huge milestone. But it's also an incredible opportunity for growth.
And with the right preparation, your daughter can step into this next chapter feeling capable, confident, and ready for whatever comes her way.
Our High School, Confident workshop helps Brisbane girls build the confidence and skills they need to transition with resilience.
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